Tired
by Dialirvi
Summary: Established relationship. Repost from AO3 of my works. Yuuichiro brokes down after seeing Akane's head.


Tears rolled down the black haired boy's cheeks, falling onto the glass container he held in his trembling hands.  
His shoulders started to shake, his entire being started to shake.  
And the vampire could only take his hand.  
Maybe if he could squeeze harder he could make the other feel that he wasn't falling apart more than he already was.  
Maybe if he could stand close to him he could make Yuuichirou feel that he wasn't alone in this.  
Maybe not, if he was still standing there feeling just blurred pain, sadness and anger, and feeling incapable of crying like his dear family.

God, he felt awful.

Yuuichirou calmed down and excused himself, leaving the glass container with the severed head of his little sister (their little sister) on the floor, walking fast towards the exit.  
Crowley got his sword ready, but the newborn vampire intercepted the movement and glared at him.

"I got this," he murmured, calming down the vampire and walking out of the basement.

The older vampire just watched the whole situation in amusement while the humans stood awkwardly next to each other in the room surrounded by dead bodies.

-

Mikaela heard the hiccups and deep breaths of his family deep down in the labyrinth of corridors and rooms of the eccentric mansion. He found him sitting in a small living room between two halls and various other rooms.

The young soldier heard and felt someone approaching and he quickly cleaned his face, covering it with both hands.

"Ah... Mika..." he laughed nervously, his voice cracking, "I'm fine. I'm just... j-just taking a breath."

Mikaela didn't say anything and sat on the couch next to him; it was almost new with the faint smell of dust and several years of being unused. The furniture was hard and uncomfortable.

"I'm g-going back... I just need a minute."

Mikaela hugged him.

The black haired boy was shocked just for a few seconds before he broke down again.  
His whole body was trembling uncontrollably and he hugged his dear family back with shaking arms surrounding his torso, burying his face in the newborn vampire's shoulder.

Mikaela just hugged him more tightly, feeling the fast beating of the heart of his beloved, hearing his whimpers, feeling his whole body tremble and the warm tears on his jacket. He started caressing Yuuichirou's head softly with one hand and his upper arm with the other.

"It's going to be ok," he whispered quietly, mimicking the last time he held him like that, a long time ago in the vampire city, when the kids had cried all day and Yuuichirou, exhausted, had broken down at night on the rooftop of their home when Mikaela tried to calm them after a rough day. "Breathe... breathe."

"I-I just... I didn't think... I was going to be so affected," he mumbled against Mikaela's shoulder. "After all this time and I feel so bad, it was my fault! I'm responsible for their deaths! I... I..." Fresh tears wetted his jacket.

"Shh, that's not true," Mikaela kept caressing his hair.

"It is, everything is my fault, they are right, I'm a f-fucking demon! I just bring death and suffering to everyone! I should have died!"

"Yuu-chan!" he scolded him, nuzzling the side of the soldier's face. "That's not true and you know it. You are just reckless, but that's because you put others first instead of you and don't think about the consequences. You are not a demon... you are you and that's ok."

"No... no! They are right. I should have died!"

Mikaela just hugged him until he got tired of blaming himself, mumbling reassuring words wherever he could because he knew that Yuuichirou needed to voice all his thoughts before he could calm down.

"Mika," he called softly after a long time, "I'm tired of being a burden."

"Why do you say you are a burden, Yuu-chan?"

"Everyone is in this situation because of me. You, the guys, Guren... all the members of the Moon Demon Company were in danger because I'm a fucking moron. I'm just tired of being a burden to everyone and that everyone needs to worry because of me." He nuzzled softly into Mikaela's shoulder, cleaning his tears and snot on the fabric. "I'm tired that everyone has to take turns to take care of me because I can't control my demon, that everyone has to worry because I get angry. I'm tired that you insist on being fine without blood but I hear your complaints in the night."

"I wasn't complaining! Yuu-"

"Shut up. I'm just tired, I wish I got killed by mom." He closed his eyes while more fresh tears rolled down his face. "I wish Ashuramaru didn't hate me enough because I have a fucking angel inside me that wants to kill every human on the stupid planet and that the army and vampires want to control. I wish I could be a normal human, living peacefully at your side with our family from the orphanage... I'm so tired!"

Mikaela shushed him again, hugging him /It wasn't common that Yuuichirou broke down so hard like this, but it had happened before and he knew how to deal with the stubborn dummy he /He just needed him to yell, to cry, but most importantly, to talk.

"Ashuramaru only tells me he will kill everyone when he takes full control of my body, I can't even sleep well because that fucking idiot keeps fighting with me. I hate the nights, I hate the hunger, I hate not being able to take a bath, I was so dirty, I hate Shinoa for making fun of me all the time, I just want to cry but I don't because I'm a man for fuck's sake..."

His Yuu-chan had the ugly habit of bottling everything up until he couldn't take it anymore.

At least when he was grumpy he could be angry often, this new Yuu-chan tried, no, forced himself to appear as happy as possible in front of the others.

Because if he freaked out about the actual problems and losing more of his humanity day by day everyone else would freak out too.

Mikaela caressed the other boy's cheek, tenderly and slowly, wiping away the tears. Yuuichiro looked at him, exhausted.

"I'm tired," he whispered, nuzzling more into the blond boy's shoulder.

"I know." Mikaela kept softly combing his hair backwards. "But you did so well, you don't have to feel bad because you are making every effort, ok?"

"But..."

"No," he kissed his temple softly. "You are a super hard worker Yuu-chan, it's ok to feel overwhelmed by it. You know I'm always here for you because you forced me to stay as a vampire just to be your special bodyguard."

"Dick," Yuuichirou chuckled, cleaning his face with the back of his hand.

"Yuu-chan, you are wonderful you know. Don't ever say that you had to die because of your parents. You are kind and nice, you are warm and if it weren't for you I would be long gone. If it weren't for you your friends wouldn't be alive, you got yourself a caring new family and everyone loves you even if you are an idiot."

"You are my family too, dick." He closed his eyes, embarrassed.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," the blond chuckled and nuzzled the face of his family.

"Do you forgive me?"

How many times had Mikaela heard that question?

"Always."

"Do you hate me?"

"If you keep being an idiot, yes."

Yuuichirou pouted adorably and hit Mikaela softly in the arm.

"I'm sorry you are a vampire."

"I know."

"I'm sorry you are sad."

"I know."

Mikaela hugged the young soldier again, nuzzling his neck, caressing his back and arm tenderly. The blond kept mumbling reassuring words to his beloved family, until he could put his fake smile on again and pretend in front of the others that he was ok.

"Even if he wasn't.


End file.
